“Rule #12 // The correct number of bikes to own is n+1…

The Rules

…while the minimum number of bikes one should own is 3,

the correct number is n+1, where n is the number of bikes currently owned.

This equation may also be written as s-1, where s is the number of bikes owned that would result in separation from your partner.”

I haven’t always been predominantly a ‘roadie’, in fact this transformation only began 4 years ago. Up until this point I was a dyed in the wool mountain biker through and through.

Looking back I’m still not really sure what the catalyst was to lure me over to what we then referred to simply as ‘the dark side’. Maybe I watched one too many Tours and was inspired by the yet to be de-cloaked Pharmstrong. Maybe I’d tired of spending one too many wintery Sunday mornings jet-washing the infamously sticky Chiltern mud from every nook and cranny of both body and bike. Or maybe I just harboured some deep subconscious fetish to get funky in lycra. Either way the transformation was swift and comprehensive. I fell for road biking like a testosterone fuelled teenager falls for that bad girl with the sweet smile and dreamy eyes. Fully smitten I lapped it up; the riders, races, history, heritage, bikes, everything. I devoured every book I could lay my hands on. And until recently I thought I had all the bases covered. That was until I happened across The Rules, the hardcopy offering from the online world of the Velominati.

If you are in any way serious, or even think one day you might like to be, about your ‘craft’ then you need this book to guide you toward enlightenment on your quest to becoming a ‘Velominatus’ (a disciple of the highest order). Frank Strack along with his fellow Velominati have distilled all that should and shouldn’t be in the world of road cycling into 92 rules which while managing to be both tongue in cheek and devastatingly serious at the same time should only be ignored at your peril and ridicule. Gems such as Rule #11 // Family does not come first. The bike does, and Rule #61 // Like your guns, saddles should be smooth and hard,  will put a smile on any truly committed cyclists face. But without doubt the most pertinent rule to all Velominatus, to be obeyed unquestionably, without dispute and in all facets of your life is Rule #5 // Harden The F##k Up. No more excuses, failings, or misgiving; simply refer to Rule #5. So pure and quintessential to the cause it’s often rendered simply as V (in a roman numerical sense). ‘Laying down some V’, ‘doling out some V’, ‘that ride was a full V’, phrases like this should come to define your riding.

So I urge you to search out  a copy of The Rules, and get some V mentality in your life. Good luck young disciples, the path to enlightenment is long but rewarding.

Dave.

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2 responses to ““Rule #12 // The correct number of bikes to own is n+1…

  1. Pingback: Project Clubhouse | Ae7 Blog·

  2. Pingback: Project Clubhouse | Dave Olinski·

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